Inspirational Art

Lily usually finds such decorations to be trite. Lily is also really self-involved, though, and thinks this sign is awesome.

Inappropriate Emails

This week's revelations have really made Lily think twice about what she sends and who she sends it to. Risque pictures like this won't pass muster. That being said, she's made it clear that she is still going to forward the link to the "It's Thanksgiving" video to everyone she knows.

Sitting Pretty

Lily's new "thing" is to act out expressions. This one was harmless. Biting off more than she could chew, however, resulted in a lot of vomit and the tragic loss of a brand new Lamb Chop plush toy.

The Call of the Wild

Lily's usually a sweetheart, but when threatened she reveals a darker side. After 30 seconds of listening to little kids playing and screaming at each other on the street below, she was forced to look towards the sky and let rip a very fierce, muted growl. Then she went back to watching The Hunger Games.

Personal Space

Lily usually doesn't need it or even recognize the existence of the concept. After a long day of schooling Bostons and Bichons on the playground, however, she insists on having a little couch time to herself.

Plays Well With Others

Not Lily. She thinks a game of Frisbee consists of placing all her body weight on it so no one else can play.  Also, this picture was obviously quite poorly framed.  Lily's Frisbee intensity is to blame.

The Beauty Within

Lily's new focus after she recently caught a glimpse of herself, disproportionate features and all.

Calendar Girl

Lily's wants to make clear that she's disinterested in  French Bulldogs that aren't black, white, brindled, and named Lily.

Bipartisanship

These two find common ground in a love for digging up worms and looking stupid.

Headstrong

 

Lily wants the world to know that she's proud not only of her gigantic noggin but also of her ability to headbutt any other dog into submission.

Power Struggle

Lily and Noah competed all day long for worst gas produced by a creature under 25 pounds. It wasn't much of a contest. Per their agreement, the winner got to ride the loser.

Record High Temperatures

While I've tried  many times to explain to her that dogs don't perspire for the most part, Lily's main heat related concern is still how the sweat makes her coat look thin.

Three Day Weekend

Like many others, Lily thinks it gives her a good excuse to make bad decisions. She spent a lot of the weekend stumbling around and singing "Call Me Maybe."

Odd Company

Bulldogs and Gators don't usually hang out together. Lily reminded me of this fact right before she stuffed half this thing in her mouth. Minutes later she gagged on it and vomited up a week's worth of food, a month's worth of tap water, and a year's worth of self respect.

Fad Diets

Lily said she wanted to do a juice fast. I told her the vet said it wasn't a good idea. She did it anyway. Three baths and many ruined textiles later, the physical repercussions were washed/thrown away. The mental images, however, will last forever.

Unfettered

COLLARS BE DAMNED!

The Easter Bunny

In order to properly pay tribute to a creature that she views as a long-revered religious icon, Lily has drawn attention to her large ears and her chubby, amorphous body in this shot.

False Appearances

As election season ramps up, Lily's doing her part to remind the Nation that one must look beyond surface images and meaningless catch phrases when choosing a candidate. She also really wanted the other dogs at daycare to know she'll cut them if she has to.

Daylight Saving Time

Lily has no idea what its purpose is. She 's just really excited about the extra time she'll have to stare directly at the sun.

Male Models

Human or dog, doesn't matter. Both have an abundance of unearned confidence and an inadequate supply of critical thinking skills.

Water Safety

A concept Jackson cannot get behind. What you can't see in this picture is that Jackson had 5 liquor drinks in him and a gold chain around his neck that weighed as much as he did. He's just lucky he passed out in his own vomit on the deck.

Warthogs

are wild pigs whose most likely predators are lions and leopards. French bulldogs are domesticated dogs,  closely resembling warthogs, whose most likely predators are heart disease and pools of standing water.

Groundhog Day

 

is tomorrow. Lily saw her shadow this morning, though, and swears that summer, not spring, starts in six weeks.

Dress for Success

If your brain's as small as hers you better make sure you at least look good. A new collar did wonders for enhancing Lily's credibility.

Sunday Fun Day

A foreign concept to Lily. She spent the morning pouting while listening to Johnny Cash's "Sunday Morning Coming Down."

Morning Breath

The only thing standing between Lily and a lasting relationship.

Scholastic Endeavors

Lily has none. She does, however, enjoy chewing the corners of books and peeing next to bookcases.

The Showdown

Things looked heated, but right after they bumped chests  both remembered that they really didn't care about drug laws, contraception, or what happens on Wall Street. No blood was drawn. Naps were taken.