Shake It Off

Lily's solution to her inability to wipe.

Doofbutt McBoogersnot

Lily wanted her own Facebook account. I told her she couldn't use her real name. This was her default selection. At first, I found it juvenile, but then she used this as her profile picture and I agreed the name worked.

On the Prowl

After destroying a stuffed toy pig I think Lily was looking for the real thing. Good thing I had some Lionel Richie and cheese cubes to calm her down.

Wake Up Calls

Lily simply doesn't understand why they exist. She also doesn't understand why it's unacceptable to pee indoors or swallow her toys.

Inspirational Art

Lily usually finds such decorations to be trite. Lily is also really self-involved, though, and thinks this sign is awesome.

Inappropriate Emails

This week's revelations have really made Lily think twice about what she sends and who she sends it to. Risque pictures like this won't pass muster. That being said, she's made it clear that she is still going to forward the link to the "It's Thanksgiving" video to everyone she knows.

Sitting Pretty

Lily's new "thing" is to act out expressions. This one was harmless. Biting off more than she could chew, however, resulted in a lot of vomit and the tragic loss of a brand new Lamb Chop plush toy.

The Call of the Wild

Lily's usually a sweetheart, but when threatened she reveals a darker side. After 30 seconds of listening to little kids playing and screaming at each other on the street below, she was forced to look towards the sky and let rip a very fierce, muted growl. Then she went back to watching The Hunger Games.

Personal Space

Lily usually doesn't need it or even recognize the existence of the concept. After a long day of schooling Bostons and Bichons on the playground, however, she insists on having a little couch time to herself.

Plays Well With Others

Not Lily. She thinks a game of Frisbee consists of placing all her body weight on it so no one else can play.  Also, this picture was obviously quite poorly framed.  Lily's Frisbee intensity is to blame.

The Beauty Within

Lily's new focus after she recently caught a glimpse of herself, disproportionate features and all.

Calendar Girl

Lily's wants to make clear that she's disinterested in  French Bulldogs that aren't black, white, brindled, and named Lily.

Bipartisanship

These two find common ground in a love for digging up worms and looking stupid.

Headstrong

 

Lily wants the world to know that she's proud not only of her gigantic noggin but also of her ability to headbutt any other dog into submission.

Power Struggle

Lily and Noah competed all day long for worst gas produced by a creature under 25 pounds. It wasn't much of a contest. Per their agreement, the winner got to ride the loser.

Record High Temperatures

While I've tried  many times to explain to her that dogs don't perspire for the most part, Lily's main heat related concern is still how the sweat makes her coat look thin.

Three Day Weekend

Like many others, Lily thinks it gives her a good excuse to make bad decisions. She spent a lot of the weekend stumbling around and singing "Call Me Maybe."

Odd Company

Bulldogs and Gators don't usually hang out together. Lily reminded me of this fact right before she stuffed half this thing in her mouth. Minutes later she gagged on it and vomited up a week's worth of food, a month's worth of tap water, and a year's worth of self respect.

Fad Diets

Lily said she wanted to do a juice fast. I told her the vet said it wasn't a good idea. She did it anyway. Three baths and many ruined textiles later, the physical repercussions were washed/thrown away. The mental images, however, will last forever.

Unfettered

COLLARS BE DAMNED!